Am I?

Is that really me? Or am I just thinking too much again? Deep down, I hope it isn't me...

Some say dreams are but dreams. But I believe in dreams, and dreams can become reality. The problem is finding the link. If you keep having the same or similar dream over and over again, do you think that its because you are stressed or is that a precognition that the dream is slowly turning into actual events.

Sad to say, apart from myself, I guess...

No, not being emo here. I was just taken aback by what I read.

If you don't comprehend the abovementioned, don't worry, its not meant to be understood by anyone except myself.

All Over Singapore

Can't believe I actually travelled all over Singapore today.

1st stop: NTU
Reason: Retrive my hostel and computer expenses proof of purchases.
Called HRSC to verify what needs to be submitted. Thank goodnesss, I prepared everything and I am surprised at how efficient they are. :)

2nd stop: HRSC near Bukit Merah Bus Interchange
Reason: Claim $$$
I alighted at Redhill, waited for 15mins for 132 to bring me to Bukit Merah Bus Interchange and horlan-ed trying to find my way there. I ended walking for more than 30 minutes instead of a 5 minutes walk. -_-"

3rd Stop: Bukit Merah Bus Interchange
Reason: Activate and deposit $ into my tertiary concession EZ-link card.

4th Stop: People's Park Complex, Chinatown
Reason: Recce for best place to change S$ to HK$.
Best rate: S$1 : HK$5.45!

5th Stop: The Arcade, Raffles Place
Reason: Recce for best place to change S$ to HK$
Best rate: S$1 : HK$5.44

6th Stop: SSDC near Yio Chu Kang MRT
Reason: Obtain PDL and book FTT
The receptionist told me counter closes at 5pm. I looked at my watch... 1717hrs.
-_-"

7th Stop: Home
Reason: Let my legs rest after 6 hours of walking and standing.

P.S.: I am not going overseas.

More Songs!

Ok. Admit it, the girl is chio. But I wonder why they call themselves 大嘴巴. Its a nice song too isn't it? Some more there are english lyrics accompanying. Haha. Enjoy...

Another one....




And one more...

白白的

张韶函-白白的

空白白的　白得天又混浊变黑
我算是谁　醒了还在原地
白白的 灵魂的石灰很容易碎
落入眼裡　想哭却没有眼泪

好想把一切都砸个粉碎
只有你才能给我一次欣慰
你是无形的伤口
你平白的咬一口
再多的爱也不够
都不够　不够
超完美伤口

空白白的　白天又混浊变黑
怕遇到谁　那无用的安慰
喔白白的　赤裸的心会很容易碎
落入眼裡　想哭却没有眼泪

好想把自己也砸个粉碎
都摧毁才能给我一次欣慰

你是无形的伤口
你平白的咬一口
再多的爱也不够
都不够　不够
超完美伤口
都不够　却还有
都不够　却还有

空白白的　我的心会一碰就碎
只有你才能给我一次欣慰
你是无形的伤口
你平白的咬一口
再多的爱也不够
都不够　不够
超完美伤口

你是无形的伤口
你平白的咬一口
再多的爱也不够
都不够　不够
超完美伤口

Mr Q's Birthday

Yesterday, I went to celebrate my 二哥's birthday with my family. It was a rather sumptous 点心午餐。。。Mum had a $25 voucher from buying mooncakes. So we headed down to The Paramount, opposite Parkway Parade to meet up with my brother. Its his 24th birthday by the way.

Its been some time since I last had quality 点心。。。The last time I had them was in HK sometime in May. In particular, I love  虾铰，or 'ha gao'. Maybe its because I love prawns, so anything with it is nice. Too bad I didn't take a picture of all the dishes.

The best was the dessert. I had Chilled Lemongrass Jelly with Lime Sorbet (柠檬草果冻与酸柑冰淇淋)。

My Brother's Almond Beancurd with Longan. The 'umbrella' was complimentary.

My Dessert. Notice the lemongrass... Haha.

My brother did this. -_-

Hapyp Birthday Mr Q(rroooo)!

醉

刚喝完一瓶Heineken啤酒。过期的啤酒。

不说你不知，其实我对酒精敏感。当我喝太多，还是当我在短时间内喝不同种类的酒时，我全身就会发疹(develop rashes)(Did I use the correct words?)。你一定想，世上有那么笨的人吗?明知故犯。。。

看清楚。。。不是一般的Heineken ;)

左手

右手

喝完之后

过期了。。。

其实，这瓶酒并不是一般的酒。它是我在军官学院的毕业晚宴，所得到的一瓶啤酒。我不忍心把它喝，因为它非常有意义。不过今天不喝，恐怕以后要喝可难了。再说为了要克服对酒精的敏感，我相信唯一途径就是让身体慢慢习惯它。就如人生，要解决问题，首先就得面对它。千万别逃避，否则问题永远存在，自己也一定很难受。

我想，喝完这瓶酒，应该不再对酒感到那么惶惑(apprehensive).

To-Do List:

Plans:

1. PDL
2. Blog
3. Nike Human Race Training
4. WebAssign
5. Reimbursement for Hostel and Computer allowances.

:)

Nearing Recess Break

I didn't attend BS1004 (Life Science) lecture today (Thank goodness there are lecture notes so readily available and that its not as tough as Engine moduels) because I'd rather spend the morning preparing for the upcoming FE1005 (Materials Science) and FE1006 (Physics I) tests later.

I wasn't confident about both, but more of MS, as there were plenty of information and words to digest. I am more visual, so if I don't see it, I will not be able to understand and assimilate it. Anyway, I didn't too well for the test, though its a 25 MCQ test. But at least I know I did better than I expected given the little time I prepared for it. Physics on the other hand was so easy, I don't believe it was true. 5 MCQ, and have to show working. Yes, that is all. Plus out of 5 questions, 3 were on motion in 2 dimensions, 1 law of motion question, and 1 work question. Most question were on circular motion too. *faints*. But that doesn't mean I will do very well either, because I am not confident of 1 question and my workings may not be correct. But nonetheless, if I did well, so be it. If not, then at least I will know where to improve. Did my part for EE8084 project too. Felt so much better now that I completed many assignments these week. 好轻松哦!

Studies aside, recess week is coming! But before that, tomorrow there's FE1001 lecture in the morning before a 4 hours break and a 2 hours lecture on cyber Security. There' also a two hours FE1001 make-up lecture on Saturday. ZOMG!!!! But I am going to attend it... at least drag myself there...

Will try to make recess week productive. I am going to use it to take a short break and recharge! But the key is balance I guess. Who wants to jio me out? Haha.

Chatroll & C-Box

I just added the chatbox! I know it doesn't blend well with the template, but give me some time to work out the template yea? I will prob spend the recess week sorting out the template once and for all.

Oh, to be kiasu, I added a chatroll at the bottom of the page too... Take a look. The purpose is to remind myself of the codes, so I don't lose it. I will decide which one to put on my blog, after the template is finalised.

Feedbacks pls! :)

Glad

克瑞说我emo,哈哈!

Enough of unhappiness. Must be happy right? Lets look at thing positively.

I am glad to have friends by me, though sometimes its just a hi-bye thing. After all, at least they acknowledged me.

I am glad to be able to study in NTU. It may not be an easy journey, but at least for the past few months here, I have learnt more about myself and learnt to improve myself.

I am glad that to study ME and not other courses although engineering courses are more time-consuming and there are more AUs plus I don't get to enjoy the free time, because I will not lose focus and play when I am free.

I am glad to be single for now, because I have discovered more about what I truly want. At least I don't have to suffer that feeling of...anymore. :D

I am glad that people drop me a message or two to ask how I am because I am not forgotton.

I am glad to stay in hall though I want to move out. At least I don't have to sleep and wake up early, much less squeezing with the crowd on the MRT or bus.

I am glad I set up this blog although its time-consuming to type when I should be doing my tutorials, study for my test and doing my project, because I have an avenue to express my thoughts.

I am glad you are reading this, because that means you are a friend of mine! :)

一个人的精彩

刚过了一个长假期，心情似乎放松了许多。上星期六，我约了ODAC-ians一起庆祝Jeremy和Sebastian的生日。我们买了一双Adidas鞋子给Jer,还有一件衣服与腰带Sebas。我们在Bugis的Pasta Mania用餐，过后还在附近吃甜品。过后我们在Dhoby Ghaut的Paradiz玩pool。那晚，有些让我尴尬的事发生，不过还好我已做了心里准备，所以不怎么影响心情。

回到家，我还是老样子，沉迷于电脑世界。或许我真的不想再翻一翻书本，也或许我的毅力没想象中的坚强吧!你说我应该如何是好?一天又一天，我的推动力慢慢地减弱，身体也累了。不知能承多久。。。

今天，有人告诉我她来过我的blog，读完了觉得我这个人很悲伤，并不快乐似的。我不否认，因为其实我的生活遇到了许多不愉快之事，但我并没和任何人说。说真的，就算听了之后也没什么了不起，所以我也可能是太多虑了。好了，夜已深，就到此为止吧!

Long Weekend

This weekend has been rather unproductive.

Went home on Friday afternoon, skipping Cyber Security lecture. Since my group isn't meeting and the lecture is going to be boring, the lecturer is always reading from the notes, and the tutorial is quite meaningless, plus there is a 4 hour break from the last lecture, so no point wasting my time when I can spend a longer time away from my studies. ITs time I take a short short break before this week's horror.

Met with fellow ODAC-ians on Saturday evening to celebrate Jeremy and Sebastian's belated birthdays. I met Ter in the afternoon to shop for Jeremy's present. We ended buying him a pair of Adidas shoes. CX got Sebas a shirt and belt. Jer and Ter got XY a watch. In total, we shared the costs and that amounted to about $28 per person. Anyway, I was shopping for my dumbbell at Suntec with Ter. Its going to cost me $99.90 for an 18kg set! *faints* That is approximately $5.55 for each kg. Shall try to save up a little for it.

Dinner at Pasta Mania, and its nice to see the familiar faces. Almost all of us turned up. Adeline and Shi Min didn't turn up for the dinner, but SM came for the later part of the program. As usual Sore "Edwin" Eyes and Han Ying didn't turn up. In fact, it was better that way. The two had been long condemned 3 years ago. After dinner, we headed to the nearby dessert shop and I had watermelon and honeydew sago. Wasn't as impressive, but given the price of $2.20, it was kinda worth it. I actually wanted to order something else, but someone ordered the same thing as me, and to prevent any embarassing moment, I changed to the current one. :S

It started drizzling when we left PS, and by the time we headed down to Paradiz to play pool, one by one, they left. JY said something when someone had to leave, which I felt wasn't necessary, and as much as I know he didn't really meant it, it was kind of awkward at that time. I didn't put it at heart though, and I didn't turn back either. I am just glad it was over.

I didn't play pool there. I was kinda tired and I even dozed off sitting there watching them play. SM came and by then I left. Too pointless for me to watch and I wasn't in the mood. Jer texted me when I reached home about the 'incident' earlier. It was nice of him, and I was rather impressed by his situation awareness. No wonder he is our 'boss'. :D

Sunday was spent on my com the whole day. Sigh~ Work done = 0. Let's see... I have:

EE8084 project
FE1001, FE1005,FE1006, HE191 tutorials to do
FE1001, FE 1005 tests to revise
FE1072, HE191 tutorials to print out

And I am going back to hall this afternoon, hopefully to finish up as much as I can.

Recharged

At last I had enough sleep today! Though it was just 6 hours or so, I surprisingly woke up on my own just 10 minutes before the alarm clock went off, thanks to the dreams last night.

Yet, these days, I kept having sweet/unpleasant dreams one after another. First was a sweet dream... which I shall not disclose. Its about someone very special to me, and only the person knows, because I told that person before many times. Then suddenly, my dream faded away and I had a nightmare. It was about NDP 09 and it was rather weird. Somehow I lost the strength to lift the colours up the the 'carrying' position when the command was given. Lol. And I got scolded for being blur for some weird reasons. And the worst part was that the colours drop, I think... I can't really remember anyway.

Anyway, today was a more productive day, and I even went out with Chun Xu and Sebastian to meet up during dinner. They are a bunch of great pals and I am glad we still have many things to talk about although we hadn't seen each other for months.

最后，送给特别的‘你’:

为了不想打扰你，我只好暂时沉默，
虽然心里有话说，但你对我好冷漠，
仍然等待你归来，就算你不理会我，
只希望你在远方，千万不要忘了我。 :)

Lab

Today's FE1072 was probably the first time I enjoyed a lab lesson. The lab was new, and we had to do sketching for the first time. The lecturer/instructor kept making jokes which I find very meaningful. It made all of us realise how we as students tend to accept whatever was taught without challenging the theories behind. I also realised how we as students tend to complicate things when sometimes the solution is as simple as making use of common sense. Lessons learnt:

1. Drawing 3D images on a piece of paper is but an illusion.

2. Parellel lines DO converge, if you draw it based on 1/2/3 point perspectives.

3. A shadow is not an object, its a concept; its a dark area formed on a surface when light is projected on an object, whereby the dark area is where the light would have been projected as if the object wasn't there.

Don't underestimate simple questions too... Try answering these questions:

1. How do you define a cube?

2. Can you prove that 1 + 1 = 2?

Overall, it was rather prductive, I must say. It made me dread lab sessions less, especially if the lecturer makes the lesson interesting, and applicable to real-life.

人的一生

Didn't perform well for my BS1004 test today. It was a 20 question MCQ, but I already got 3 wrong for sure. But I shall not dwell too much on it since there is nothing I can do. Its time to move on....

After downloading NJstar (南极星)， I can finally type in chinese! As for why the sudden urge to switch my usual style, only 某些人 will know. Since its been a long long time since I write(type) in chinese, PLEASE BEAR WITH ME and feel free to correct me! 因为知道写错，自己才会进步。

今天又是一个又忙又累的一天， 前晚没睡觉，昨晚只睡5个小时，虽然身体已经开始抗议，不过也没办法。好希望能像从前一样；累的时候，有人为我加油，不开心的时候，有人说笑话给我听，寂寞的时候，有人理我。不过都是以往之事了。有人曾对我说:，活在昨天的阴影是痛苦的，而这也就是我最大的弱点。这句话点醒我 - 当我沉默时，就代表我不知不觉地想起一些往事。

不开心的事免谈，目前我只想专心做好本分，同时也改变自己。这四年说长不长，说短不短。但能确定的是，过了这四年，我没办法倒流时间。很显然四年后，我将专著与我的事业，安排时间方面一定需要花一番功夫，甚至有时候也不得不牺牲想做的事。所以对我而言，现在的时间显得更加真贵。。。

今天，我又是一个人的在食堂里吃晚餐。孤独的滋味，似乎麻醉了我好几年了。不过还好，日子本来有起有落。相信度过了，自己也对于身旁的好友一定更珍惜。

老实说，向你们吐出这些心事，并不是要你们可怜我。我的日子还好。因为我知道世界上有更多人正面临更多更艰难的问题。而我目前的情况比起他们，我算是幸运多了。我庆幸，也很感恩生活上的点点滴滴，因为至少我仍然是活着的。朋友虽不多，好友更少，知己只有一个，但他们都对我诚恳，关心我。

总而言之，我活着的目的，就是为了寻找我的快乐。不管在结下来的日子有多煎熬，不管我是否还在‘你’的我心里，我仍会活得精彩。

Forcing myself to undergo Insomia.

Cannot seem to manage my time well enough. I didn't sleep last night as I was trying to clear WebAssign for the week. At last, I finished it as of 1500hrs today. I actually fell asleep on the chair several times as I did the WebAssign! Even the coffee cannot keep me awake for that long. I took a 2hrs nap and my dad woke me up. I washed up, and the next thing I know, I lie on the bed again and knocked out. Yes, that's was how I spent my weekends. And now I know how exhausting it is to the mind and body to not sleep when your body is protesting. So lesson learnt for everyone. Sleep at the right time and sleep enough.

Come to think of it, its not exactly as if I have my life is so dead. I am happy and grateful for many things in life. I just need to learn how to micromanage myself well. I wanted to hang out with my friends too, but I also want to do my very best and prove that I can do well in university, especially for a tedious course like Mechanical Engineering. Cannot afford to disappoint my surieties, and especially my parents who placed high hopes on me. Yet ,placing my studies as one of my top priorities now is depriving me of certain things I want to do or like doing. For instance, playing computer games, swimming, going to the movies, or even meeting friends, just to name a few. I guess that's the price we have to pay for results.

This 2 weeks are going to be more hectic. Apart from the routine lectures and tutorials to catch up with, I also have several tests. Tomorrow, there is BS1004 (Life Science) test in the morning and next week, there is FE1001, FE1005 tests...

And I still got a personal goal I want to achieve before the end of the year. Its for a special reason. Trying to maintain that self-discipline I need...

Tooth Fairy robbed my milk teeth and is going to rob my permenant teeth!!

I used my computer till 0530am this morning since I came back yesterday... And I realised I have a dental appointment later at 1030hrs! As a kiasu and kiasi deep-sleeper, I set more than 10 alarms on my handphone and picked the most irritating ringtone to make sure I wake up. Luckily it worked, and I managed to crawl out of bed despite having about 3 hours of sleep only.

Today is the 'discussion-with-the-orthodontist-day' before I start putting on my braces. Mum was sick, and I didn't want to disturb her rest, so I went alone. (By the way, my mum and my two brothers have been patronising that clinic since I was born. Hence she always make it a point to accompany me there if possible since she knows the people there.) The O-tist briefed me on what to expect and how she intends to correct my teeth alignment. I will need to extract 4 teeth in total to make space for the other teeth to shift into its correct position. Thats a total of 8 teeth lost in my lifetime (I extracted all 4 wisdom teeth just 3 months ago)! Now I am left with only 24 to last me... Haha. I was also told that the extraction will be asymmetrical in the sense the 4th set of upper and lower teeth on the left, which are the pre-molar and the 5th set of upper and lower teeth on the right will be extracted. Shall leave out the rest of the technicalities.

It was quite a short discussion, and its going to cost me $3840 in total - $3700 for the braces package and $140 for the extractions. I know its costly and silly to pay when you can get a discount of 20% if you do it at a government hospital. But I couldn't afford to wait for the queue at National Dental Centre (NDC). The queue itself will take 3.5 yrs as told to me by the orthodontist there, plus another 2yrs or so before I can take out the braces, and that will amount to 5.5 yrs. I cannot afford to wait so long since I don't want to return to service with my braces. Its going to be inconvenient...

I wanted to put on braces because of the 2.5 decayed teeth incidences. Given my current teeth arrangement, its really difficult to brush my teeth. I even did an X-ray on my teeth and jaw area, and both the o-tists at NDC and the clinic I am patronising diagnosed that my jaws are too small to accomodate all 32 teeth, and therefore my teeth had to cramp up. Even my upper and lower mid-line were mis-aligned. ARGH! My wisdom teeth were the first major problem that pissed me off, for it led to food getting trapped and eroding my molar where I cannot see or brush. Now that the are gone, another 4 more must sacrifice for the betterment of others. -_-

Obviously the other reason is for a better smile. Ever wondered why I never smile when you see me (provided I am not in a bad mood)? Or why I never bare my teeth when I take photos? This is the reason!

My first official treatment is scheduled on 28th October when I will be putting on the seperators between my molars and that will most likely hurt quite badly for the next few days. On the 31st, I will be extracting all 4 teeth, if not 2, and the other 2 will be done on the 7th of November. Then subsequently, the fixtures will be cemented on my teeth and the wires will be up! Can't wait for the day I take them out after 2 years!

As of now, I am trying to clear up my FE1001 WebAssign to make time for revision for BS1004 CA1 on monday. So I have no choice but to meet Alvin, Kahluu and Yao Hao another day for dinner. You guys enjoy yourself ok! I'd really want to join and meet up with you guys, but I have my commitments. Hope you understand. :)

Hope to catch more sleep tonight!

Had a short nap again after I reached my room. Was feeling feverish and restless, so decided to take a break. I felt much better now.

Watched the last episode of Paris & Milan today at Canteen 14, coz Canteen 9 was showing some Channel U show. I must say today's finale was really fantastic! For those who don't know, P & M or 女王本色 is a show that talks about Singapore's society, and discusses some of the 'ugly' side our behaviour especialy in public. What made it so popular is the way they portray such serious issues in a light-hearted and hilarious manner. Its really food for thought for us, since we are striving towards a gracious society. Haha.. I will miss Aunty Lucy and her sprained neck!

Now its back to work work!

Its raining but I cannot sleep :(

I think I slept too long a nap yesterday afternoon. Lecture ended at 1230hrs, and by the time I reached my room, I knocked out, with the intent of taking a 2 hour nap or so.

I woke up at 1800hrs.

Time lost is never recovered. So I tried to make the best out of it. By the time I procrastinated long enough, and struggled through my tutorials, it was close to 0500hrs the following day (today). I flipped around the bed, but just couldn't sleep, so I gave up. Woke up and continued to mug through the morning, with the aid of a can of coffee. Then I headed to the canteen in the early morning to have a breakfast before heading to school. It was raining by the time I stepped out, so I decided to take the shuttle bus. For your info, I don't take shuttle buses coz I have to wait so long, I would have reached the destination by foot. Otherwise, I have to wait longer, because the bus is overcrowded.

I somehow skipped the Life Science lecture after 30mins as I already read, understood and finished the online tutorial this morning as I spent my sleepless morning hours reading through the lecture slides. Oh I met my brother in school for the first time! Haha. He came out of the LT and knocked on the study bench I was sitting and I got a shock. Maybe next time I should ask him for lunch together.

Now I am having my break before the tutorials. Shall carry on after I return to my room... :)

Typing away in my lonely room

Nice to know that so many people are popping by. Appreciated.

Now I am typing this in my lonely room, coz teh had to go home. But thanks to his radio, it isn't exactly lonely. Oh today is the last episode of Paris & Milan! Will definitely catch the show later.

Its amazing that even kids these day like to mimic Aunty Lucy:

First Entry!

Special date isn't it? 090909... At 09:09:09 of today, what were you doing?

Today's Materials Science Lecture was the first time I got lost in a lecture since I stepped into NTU. Even teh couldn't grasp it well. Haha. Only had 3 lectures in the morning totalling up to 3 hours and the rest of the day is mine!

Rest of my day shall be spent (hopefully) doing Webassign, Physics tutorial and MS tutorials... If I have the time, I shall work on the blog and start transferring my contact list from my old phone to the new one. (Sorry to those whom I asked who you are although I know you!)

Lately, I have been sleeping lesser and lesser coz I have been addicted to Facebook and Mafia Wars. My bio-clock screw up and my appetite is going haywire. Looks like staying in hall doesn't solve my problem of concentration...

Gotta get busy, till the next time!

090909

Started this new blog on a very rare and special date.

090909.

Perhaps after so long since my old blogs... don't exist anymore, I should start one again. Hope that I can update as often. Leave your comments as when you like :)

Oh well, its 0234hrs as of now, I gotta catch some rest before tomorrow's lectures!