Life Partners

Its a funny feeling...

I went around stalking on FB, and I come to point of realisation that many of my friends have found their other half. I wonder if its because they are really into each other or are they simply getting their life partners for the sake of settling down, as per convention. Don't get me wrong, there's nothing wrong with me, and I am definitely not against people with someone whom they feel attached to. It just so happens to be my observation.

Maybe I am a bit slow, or some people decided to keep their relationship in a low profile, but I was really surprised when I see friends changing their relationship status ever since the last time I looked at their profile. Of course, while there are pairs who changed theirs from 'Single' to 'In a relationship', there's the other side of the coin too... Believe it or not, I do feel happy when I see couples forming, and kinda sad when some didn't work out eventually.

I have been through both, so I know how it feels. I guess it's important to pick wisely, and one should always look far. By that, I mean when you choose a partner, search for the qualities worthy of a good spouse, in the prospective guy or girl. After all, he or she is someone you are going to face for the rest of your life if things proceed smoothly. (Unless you are looking for a short relationship or not planning to get married.) True, these qualities might change with time, but there will be some that never change, and that is what you must look out for and hold onto. That is what will keep you two together no matter what, for you will be reminded that you love this person because of these qualities. That was what failed in my previous relationship. Both of us changed our qualities and those that never changed are not what we truly want. I won't comment on what were the changes, but I think the two of us know them, deep inside. After all, 1348 days is a long long time, to me. I have moved on ever since, but I made sure the lessons learnt stay with me no matter what.

When I came across Miss A and Miss B's profile, and looking at their photos, I admit I felt a little sour. But I also know, I am glad there are better people out there, and I will give them my blessings. I know things aren't going to work out anyway, so why make myself feel worst isn't it?

As for my other half and me, it was a roller coaster ride. :) Plenty of Ups and Downs. And mind you, the Ups were really sky-high and the Downs were really deep-down. Its the journey that truly matters. Indeed, I love thrill rides, but 'safety' is of paramount importance. No one likes it when it gets too thrilling to the point beyond control, where someone eventually gets more scared than thrilled and accidents happen. (Ok, I don't mean to be lame, but it sounds like Final Destination III). That is where the qualities come in. I remind myself constantly that hey, nothing is perfect and I pre-empted her that there will be times when we will start to see the uglier side of each other. Its only through crisises that we know each other better. And thus far, I am thankful for the crisises, for we have been through quite a few and surviving them will only make our bond stronger. But I will not want to undergo them again, thanks. :S Trust and communication are also key to any relationship, and they act as complements. One cannot do without the other. So far, we have thrashed out many issues, and I am glad to know what's on her mind. When you stop hiding, you start appreciating. :)

It's been a wonderful 3 months+, and I will definitely look forward to plenty more ups and downs. Ultimately, I made that decision, and I will not regret. :D

< 3 more days...

Exam starts in just ...less than 3 days.

Thursday's my first paper - FE1007 (Mathematics II). Subsequently....

26th April - FE1002 (Physics II)
28th April - FE1008 (Computing)
4th May - FE1003 (Chemistry)

I just finished doing the Maths II past year paper. 1 paper only. And there still plenty more practices to go. Sigh~ I shall go to bed after typing finish this entry.

I know I know, I have been missing plenty of updates since the last proper entry. I am too lazy to backlog and too forgetful to remember the details. But nonetheless, some of the 'milestones' for the past weeks include:

HELL WEEK
Monday 050410

• Driving Practical Test on 5th April: 'F'
• Chemistry Test: Quite difficult, I probably get 8/10 at most. (8/10 is considered poor for an MCQ, thanks to the bell-curve effect from the ATs)

Tuesday 060410

• IPPT: 'S' --- No, 'S' does not stand for Satisfactory; it's SILVER -.- Will definitely take again to get my GOLD.

Thursday 080410

• Maths II & Computing Test: Seriously, I got conned by my Maths tutor. I memorised all the past year questions as he said he will pick the questions there and none came out. Computing was a stunner, because the tutor set a question on the context of topics we yet to cover. He make me waste time figuring out if its a deliberate bug or not in the program codes.

In short, I never had the chance to catch my breath until Thursday evening. Zzzz.

Now that time really flies, I felt that semester made me realise that for every good, theres a bad, when you gain, you lose. Basically the world is fair.

• I get more time and freedom, but I lost the motivation and sense of urgency.
• I found my life partner, but that means I have to divert my time and resources away from what I am spending.
• I got a 4-day week, but I had to cramp all my lessons especially my tutorials.
• I have lesser modules this semester, but I have to take more subsequently.
• I had my happy days, but there are times I felt depressed too.
• I spend a lot on myself, such as braces, driving lessons, but I gained better dental health and a chance to get my liscence.
• I complain and blame why there are so many problems, but every thought made me mature and I realise the world is fair.

I am embarking on my next phase soon. I want to clear that 3 modules during my VA, but I also want to participate in NDP this year. I know I cannot have the best of both worlds, but I will try nonetheless. At least I tried.

Dad warned me not go near the waters, especially the beach or swimming pool during the lunar 9th month. Well, basically, my parents went back to M'sia for Qing Ming and my mum had her fortune read there. Apparently, the first thing the fortune teller told my mum, was a stern warning: Don't let your youngest son go near the anywhere with water, because.... I leave it to your imagination. It does give me the creeps as my dad kept reminding me over and over after they returned. I don't believe entirely in these fore-warnings, but its better to be safe than sorry right?

Anyway, TEH moved out last Friday, and now I had the whole room to myself. TEH, I told you I will dedicate an entry for you, so here it is! :D HAHAHAHA... But it does feel kinda lonely. And its not that lonely that someone who you are so used to seeing each day, leaves you temporarily. Its the kind of loneliness where you know you will probably not see each other in the same setting and that often any longer. :( TEH, are you touched? HAHAHAHA. I know you are, even thoguh you don't say, coz I know deep inside.... (*You fill in the rest of the standard statements/remarks I always make to make you cringe in disgust/paiseh*) HAHAHA. He is a nice person though we always suan and make fun of each other. Its been a great year sleeping together..... :X Oh did you know we were schoolmates/CCA-mates in secondary school and BMT Platoon/Section/Bed buddies? The best part, our beds were literally in-contact side by side! So if I won't be surprise if I roll over to him during my sleep... Hmmm, so when are you getting l*id again?

Ok, get it straight - I AM STRAIGHT. :) TEH, happy or not?  :D

Wah... DBT. I got to catch my rest le....  Till the next time....

Sigh

I pray. I hope.

I ask myself, what is it this time? Have I done anything wrong? Or was it plain careless?

Regardless of what I say, I am holding on. Even if I have to end up hurt, I admit. I deserve it.

Bottle

Finally, after so long, time to update a little stuff, before I forget them.

Yesterday was really a day that made me rather upset. I had many things in mind. I learnt that whenever someone or something angers you, you got a choice - be affected by it and be angry; or you can choose to look from another perspective, and turn that anger to something else pleasant and move on.

I went through quite a lot of thinking throughout the day. Am I wrong? Did I do something that offended you? What's wrong with me? I ask myself these questions, before I thought of the other party. But its precisely when I choose to take the blame myself before thinking further, that I feel worst.

I am just like a bottle. Whenever I am upset, I tend to deposit the unhappy memories in me, instead of spilling it, fearing I might affect you. It then accumulates until it reaches the brim, and I don't know what will happen, for it was never reached that stage.... Unless I am completely trust you or you are someone who is willing to share with me your secrets and inner thoguhts, otherwise, no one really knows what's going on in me. Sigh. Its a bad habit, and I am trying to change, but its not easy. I succeeded once, but now it seems to go back to square one.

After reading those messages, I felt a little better, for I know you are not in the best of moods, and you revealed your problems. I understood then. But why didn't you say earlier? I am not that sensitive to hints and I don't want to guess wrongly.

No matter what, I am still that same old person you know of. Nothing's going to change for the worse even if its not the desired outcome. We will face it together. Because I have told you many times - I made that decision, and I am sticking to it. :)

I am not going to reveal too much details here, and I will wait for your mood to turn better.

Anyway, I will update what's going on for the past few weeks, soon. No time and no mood for that, now.

Shall Update Again.... Later.

Okok, as usual, I am always late for my blog updates.... Sorry guys, had been too busy (and to a greater extent, lazy) to update about my life.

But before I start recollecting my memories about the past weeks, I am afraid I have to postpone again as I have to prepare for my crazy week ahead: Driving Practical Test and FE1003 test on Monday, IPPT on Tuesday, FE1007 and FE1008 tests on Thursday. As mentioned on my FB shoutout - GG (Good Game). -.-

So until the end of my tests or anytime before then, I shall continue with my crazy preparations.... :(